Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.

A robber comes into the store & steals a TV.
A blonde runs after him and says,
"Wait, you forgot the remote!"

A science teacher tells his class,
"Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773."
A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773!
Otherwise I would have died without it."

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
if he could see her license. She replied in a huff,
"I wish you guys could get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and
then today you expect me to show it to you.

Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?
Because she didn't want to wake the Sleeping Pills!!

A blonde goes to the doctor's
and find out she is pregnant with Twins.
She starts crying and the doctor asks her what's wrong.
She replies, "I know who the dad is for one of them but
I don't know who the dad is for the other one!"

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette were thinking
about what they would do if they went to space.
The redhead said, "I would adopt a martian."
The brunette said, "I would give Pluto some steroids."
The Blonde said, "I would go to the sun."
The redhead replied, "But you would burn up and die."
The blonde responded, "Not if I went at Night."